I realized I was too sensitive for this world and wanted a way out. I felt alone even though I came from a family of 13 siblings. This silent loneliness was my weakness however it had a silent power of an incredible faith of Love with an undeniable wisdom that lied deep within.
Through all of life’s tribulations, I learnt the art of suppressing this instinctual feeling by burying myself alive and creating another personality to deal with the toxins of my world in order to survive.
The beginning of my life started with delusional and dysfunctional ways of living. Raised in a home of addictions and mental disabilities my information and base of life lessons were so poisoned with pain, suffering and fear, that it stunted my ability to learn or absorb information. The first 17 years of my life I had NO voice as no 13, so I sat back and observed. This is where the depths of my learning’s began, although at the time I was surely not aware.
I was late in everything and had to learn through experiencing. Outside of my family life, I was everyone’s pillar of strength and motivation but my own worst enemy. I didn’t understand why I could feel everyone’s pain suffering and deepest emotions; it was a heavy burden but it fed the emptiness of my loneliness. Well only for that short moment of exchange.
I endured pain, suffering anguish and at times a lost purpose for existence. Learning to survive life was all I could manage. I suffered in silence the best way I knew how, even though it was not the right way, but it kept me Alive.
I spent 36 years of my life disillusioned by a false belief system. Being an adult child of a family of addictions I formulated ideals for protection and safety in early stages of life that I carried through adulthood.
This is when the reality of my troubles began.
When My son, was at two and a half years of age, he started to mirror the inner child I buried deep within, crying and yearning to be heard.
I was in the midst of my mental confusions and addictions with the inability to process emotions, that my son suffered the same symptoms. My son’s anger was his cry for help. I witnessed this innocent being suffering internally from the repeat patterns of family history. This was my awakening moment and where my real journey began.
It’s now been 8 years and today I stand and own my space with a new vibration that will be used to help others empower themselves with the knowledge, tools and insights of my learning’s and understandings that today have defined my purpose and set free the Soul that was meant to fly…